The Reality
by TED WILD
“3 minutes to live 1% happier”
[Scroll down for English version]
Reality: 改变需要厚脸皮
tedwild.com | 2023.5.23
Happy Reality Day! 你上周过的如何？希望这3分钟的现实，可以带给你1%的快乐 ↓
❤ 1个我的领悟
改变需要强大的内心（或者说很厚的脸皮），因为你只要一试图改变，周围的人就会用各种方式阻止你。
你不想在目前的工作上太上心，而是把重心转到副业，这时候下属会骂你不管事，其他部门的人会嫉妒你说我们天天加班凭啥他到点就走，领导会威逼利诱画大饼让你奋斗，冷嘲热讽的、打小报告的、明着骂你的、暗地挖坑的，啥招都有。这时候你能有厚脸皮，顶住这些压力做你自己想做的事情吗？
你想辞职，你爸妈朋友都在反对，说就业环境这么差，你一时半会能有目前的收入吗，过几年再想上班没公司愿意要你了， 你该赶紧攒钱买房结婚了。这时候你能有厚脸皮，不在意这些说法吗？
你想离开现在的男朋友，因为你知道这段感情不适合你。你的好朋友说，你俩都在一起3年了，你现在离开啥结果都没有，损失多大啊！你再找一个就能保证比这个好？你年龄也不小了，该结婚了，再找一个还得从头开始！谁没有缺点啊，他应该会改的。这时候你能有厚脸皮，内心不动摇吗？
其实我们每个人内心都有一个声音在指引着，告诉我们前边哪条路才是正确的。你每天一踏进公司大门就觉得压抑其实就是这个声音。但是想要走这个声音指引的那条路，需要强大的内心和刀枪不入的厚脸皮来冲破路上的荆棘。
你能做到吗？
❤ 1个其他人的领悟
“他们说我不应该有这样的反应。不管环境什么样，我不能不一样。
但我每天都不一样，我连自己都反叛。如果我长时间以某一种方式思考或者行动，我就会尝试另一种方式。
到目前为止这种思维方式效果很好。越让我害怕的东西反而越让我充满探索的欲望。”
– Derek Sivers, Anti-chameleon
❤ 1个小尝试
“阻力识别”：
接下来一周，把你目前想做出的改变说给身边的人听，可以是父母，朋友，同事，目的就是看看他们什么反应。
如果反应是各种形式的阻止，你可以清晰地看透本质，告诉自己“这是一种对我想做出改变的阻力”。
为什么周围的人想阻止你呢？因为一方面他们自己害怕改变，所以他们那些话其实是说给自己听的。另一方面人们其实不喜欢自己的环境里有人比自己过得好，所以会用各种借口阻止你离开环境。
看完有啥想法没？可以直接回复这个邮件，我会看邮箱里的每一个回复。
另外，我很想知道你对已经发了的这些期周报的想法，有什么建议么？欢迎回复。
除了邮件，有没有什么保持联系的其他方法的建议呢？
下周见，
Ted Wild
– /// –
Reality: You need a thick skin to change
tedwild.com | 2023.5.23
Happy Reality Day! Here is your weekly dose of reality to help you live 1% happier.
❤ 1 Insight From Me
Change requires a strong heart (or a thick skin), because as soon as you try to change, people around you will stop you in all kinds of ways.
Say you want to focus more on your side hustle instead of your day job. Your subordinates will scold you for not solving problems. People in other departments will be jealous of you, saying that they are working overtime but you check off on the clock. Your boss will threaten to fire you. There will be cursing in your face, stabbing behind your back, and all kinds of dirty tricks. Can you have a thick skin, withstand these pressures and do what you want to do?
Say you want to quit your job. Your parents will say that the employment environment is so bad, you will not be able to pay your bills for a while, and if you want to go back to work in a few years, no company will want you, you should kill the thought and save money to buy a house and get married. Can you have a thick skin and not care about these claims?
Say you want to end your relationship with your boyfriend because you know it is wrong. Your friend said that you two have been together for 3 years, to leave now will be a big loss! Can you find another man that is guaranteed to be better than this one? You are not young, it is time to get married! Everyone is flawed, he could change. Can you have a thick skin and not hesitate?
Each of us has a voice in our hearts that guides us and tells us which path ahead is the right one. But if you want to walk the path guided by this voice, you need a strong heart and a thick skin to break through the thorns on the road.
Can you do it?
❤ 1 Insight From Others
“I hear I’m not supposed to react like this. I’m supposed to be the same, no matter what’s around.
But I’m not the same from day to day, even when alone. I rebel against myself, too. If I’ve been thinking or acting one way for too long, I try another way.
It’s worked pretty well for me so far. I’m super-motivated by the horror of seeing the opposite of what I want.”
– Derek Sivers, Anti-chameleon
❤ 1 Small Step To Take
“Resistance Recognition”:
In the next week, try tell the people around you about the changes you want to make. It can be parents, friends, or colleagues. The goal is to see their reactions.
If the reaction is resistance, try clearly see through whatever form the resistance takes and tell yourself, “This is a resistance to my wanting to make a change.”
Why do people want to stop you from changing? Because on the one hand, they themselves are afraid of change, so they are actually telling themselves the world outside is too dangerous. On the other hand, people actually don’t like other people in their environment who live better than themselves, so they will try to prevent you from leaving the environment.
Do you find this issue of Reality helpful? Leave a reply to this email, I check every reply in my inbox.
Until next week,
Ted Wild
PS: Article：How To Live In The Now
Join The Reality
Thanks for reading. You can get more actionable insights in my FREE email newsletter. It has a weekly topic on self-help and self-improvement with:
- 1 insight from me
- 1 insight from others
- 1 small step you can take
Add 1% more happiness to your inbox right now ↓
Get The Reality Newsletter Now
No Spam. No Noise. Just hardcore insights.