2024.2.6 | #48

Happy Reality Day! Here is your weekly dose of reality to help you live 1% happier↓

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“Nice to meet you”, then what?

You meet a new person, whether it’s at a company, school, interest class, book club, introduction from a friend, or anywhere else. You said hello and asked each other “So what do you do”.

Then you say “Oh, that’s interesting.”

Then you fell silent and started scrolling your phone.

Because you don’t know what to say.

That’s what this article is about, after you say Hi to a stranger, what should you do next?

Stage 1: Get the basics

Learn about the other person’s basics by chatting about these topics:

• Something related to the occasion where you met. For example, if you meet someone at a conference, you can ask him which company he is from, what the company does, and why he is attending this conference. This will get the conversation going.

• Interesting things about him. His hairstyle, clothing, makeup, etc. Find something you find interesting about him and then compliment on it sincerely.

• Major. What did you study in college? Mainly for students.

• Profession. What do you do? Mainly for working people. Then you can catch what interests you in what he says and build up from there. If you are not interested or you don’t understand his job at all, just ask, “What is the core of doing well in this job?”

• Hobby. “What do you usually do in your free time?”

• Experience. Where has he been, who has he met, and what interesting things has he done.

No matter what topic you talk about, pay attention to two things:

1. Name a point that interests you, then build the conversation on this point and use these points to form a topic chain.

2. Find something you both have in common. When he mentions anything he has in common with you, be sure to let him know. By default, people like people who are similar to themselves.

Stage 2: Determine if you want to go further

1) What kind of relationships can develop between two strangers after they get to know each other?

1. Weak ties. A relationship that is just acquaintance but without in-depth understanding is a weak connection. After the topics in the first stage, you have formed a weak tie. Weak ties are more useful than strong ties in many cases. For example, if you just know that the other person is a real estate agent, next time someone around you wants to buy a house, he will come to your mind first.
2. Normal friends. Friends who continue to interact, but don’t borrow money, or help each other a lot.
3. Close friends. Friends who can lend money and help each other a lot.
4. Lovers
5. Business partners
6. Teacher

These 6 kinds of relationships, that’s all.

After the first stage, we come to a fork to determine what kind of relationship you want to develop with this person next.

If you don’t know, it’s perfectly OK, as long as it’s someone you like, just keep in touch.

Stage 3: Go deep

How?

Eat together, play together, anything you can do with others together, just call him.

Chat about topics of common interest. For example, if you both like someone, you can talk about him.

Help him. Find out how you can help him and help him.

Ask the person about topics that interest you. For example, I will ask him or her what they do when they are stressed, how they make decisions.

The best way is to find a “reason to cooperate”. Find a long-term, fixed reason for cooperation. For example, you teach him to write, he teaches you to cook, you set some kind of business cooperation deal, etc.

Whether a relationship can progress depends on one word: trust.

Hope you find this useful.

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Do you find this issue of Reality helpful? Leave a reply to this email, I check every reply in my inbox.

Until next week,

Ted Wild

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