Reality: No Kid Is Born Mature

Read on tedwild.cc  | 2023.7.4 | #17

Happy Reality Day! Here is your weekly dose of reality to help you live 1% happier↓

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❤ 1 Insight From Me

I have a friend who is duplicity.

In front of his family, he is a responsible and capable adult. He works, makes money, buys furniture for his family, and clothes for his younger brother. He always says “I’m fine.”

In front of his colleagues, he is a conscientious employee. He does whatever he is asked to do, and he takes it silently when he is scolded. He always says “Got it.”

In front of his friends, he is a happy soul, a caring friend, who often chats with others until midnight. He always says “I’m here.”

But in fact, he is extremely sensitive, suspicious, and stressed out. He can detect a slight change in other people’s facial expressions, feels that others are bullying him or looking down on him, and then fight back passive aggressively.

Why?

Because when he was very young, his parents worked far away and left him to be raised by relatives. This makes him an unloved child on the inside, but a mature adult on the outside.

No child is born mature, mature children are all forced to be.

He found that no one can be relied on in life, so he began to rely on himself;

He found that crying was useless, so he became expressionless, there is rarely sadness, but also rarely happiness.

No children can live independently, they all need a lot of love to grow up.

And there is only one thing parents should give their children: Unconditional love.

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❤ 1 Insight From Others

The human child is the least mature and the most dependent of any creature in the universe and remains that way for the longest period of time, I mean, the horse can run on the first day of life… So that means that our period of dependence and immaturity and vulnerability is much longer. And the only thing that supports our health development is a healthy attachment with the nurturing adults.

― Gabor Maté

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❤ 1 Small Step To Take

“Mask”:

List out how many masks you are wearing now, write them down one by one:

What image do you present in front of your family?

What image do you present in front of your colleagues?

What image do you present in front of your friends?

What image do you present in front of your lover?

What is the image of the real you in your heart?

In front of whom can you completely be your true self? Is there such a person?

If not, that’s normal, because most people don’t.

Being who you are is actually more about just being who you are, rather than about being lucky enough to meet someone that accepts you. People who are mentally strong can be their true selves no matter who they face.

No matter what you are like, there will always be people who like you and people who hate you. Therefore, you don’t find someone you love by putting on a mask and catering to them, but by reverse filtering: Being your true self and attracting people who like you.

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Do you find this issue of Reality helpful? Leave a reply to this email, I check every reply in my inbox.

Until next week,

Ted Wild

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PS: What You Need To Know About Your Thoughts

PPS: Why women live longer than men

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