“3 Minutes To Live 1% Happier”

Reality: Who Can You Fully Be Yourself With?

Read on  | 2023.8.22 | #24

Happy Reality Day! Here is your weekly dose of reality to help you live 1% happier↓

1 Insight From Me

I had dinner with a friend two days ago, he kept his company and family well run. After chatting for a while, I asked him, “Do you have someone who you can fully be yourself with?”

He froze for a moment…

Everyone needs someone to who they can say everything and be completely authentic in front.

Just like after a long workday and coming home at night, you will take off your clothes, mask, and makeup, you need to be able to drop all pretense and fully be yourself in front of someone.

But most people don’t have such a person in their lives.

For parents, you only tell them the good news. If you tell them your worries, they either don’t understand or can’t help.

For friends, you can only tell them part of your life.

For spouses, most people are either not sincere in the first place, or feel that they have to carry responsibilities alone.

This is why people often open up to total strangers.

Intimacy is the number one determinant of human happiness.

How many people you can fully be yourself with is an indicator of whether you are mentally strong and living a happy life.

Mentally strong people can be themselves in front of anyone, they just don’t do it.

But we can’t and don’t need to fully be ourselves in front of anyone.

One person is enough.

My friend thought for a while and said, “If there must be such a person, it must be your significant other.”

I think he is right.

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1 Insight From Others

“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”

― Criss Jami

1 Small Step To Take

“Honest Challenge”:

How can you find such a person?

What you need to do is actually not to look outside, but inside.

Be completely honest with yourself first, then try to be completely honest with others.

Start small, brave up, and speak your true heart.

If you don’t want to go to the party, just say no.

If your girlfriend did something wrong, just tell her directly (remember to say what you did wrong first).

If you don’t want commitment, just tell your date at the first chance.

In the short term, you may lose something because you were dishonest with yourself earlier. But in the long run, “always be honest” will pay you back with more.

More importantly, you will be happier in the whole process.

Do you find this issue of Reality helpful? Leave a reply to this email, I check every reply in my inbox.

Until next week,

Ted Wild

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