2024.1.9 | #44

Happy Reality Day! Here is your weekly dose of reality to help you live 1% happier↓

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Reality: How To Answer A Favor The Right Way

You must have had this experience: someone asked you for help, and you spent your time and energy helping them for free. However, because things did not go smoothly, in the end, they not only did not appreciate your help, but even blamed you for wasting their time.

I had already made plans for the day before yesterday, a tight plan. But right before I get started, I went to the convenience store downstairs to buy a bottle of water.

When I was checking out, the store owner smiled and asked me, “Are you busy right now? Can you help me connect this monitor to my mobile phone? I really don’t know how to do it.”

Although I was a little hesitant, I started working on it without saying anything. As a result, after tinkering for 20 minutes, the connection was still not successful.

Although the convenience store owner said thank you when I left, I could see the disappointment on his face.

You paid the cost to help without any return. You wasted your time and disrupted your plan. While they still feel that you have not been helpful, and even think you have wasted their time. Sucks, right?

So when someone asks for help and you are willing to help, but you are not sure that you can do it, how do you respond?

Remember one word: time value.

Let the asker know that your time is valuable, so that even if things don’t work out in the end, they will be grateful to you.

Here is how to reply:

“Oh, I actually have a lot to do today, but I can try for 10 minutes, but there is no guarantee that it can be solved. No matter what the result is after 10 minutes, I have to leave.”

(With smile while you talk)

This seems simple, but it actually contains several key points:

• “I have a lot to do today”: I am busy and my time is valuable. In this way, even if the problem is not solved in the end, the asker will appreciate your help.

• “But I can try for 10 minutes”: Even though I am busy, I am still willing to help. Let the asker know that you do want to help him.

• “But there is no guarantee that it can be solved”: Say it in advance. Manage the other party’s expectations, keep it low.

• “No matter what the result is after 10 minutes, I have to leave”: Even if the problem is not solved when the time is up, the other party will not think that you are incompetent, just too little time. And 10 minutes is not long. Even if it is not resolved, the other party will not feel that you have wasted his time.

In short, let the other party know that your time is valuable. This way you won’t waste your time or others’ time, and even if things don’t work out in the end, the asker will be grateful to you.

Finally, please note that you must speak about your situation in advance. It is a fact that you are busy, and it is a fact that you are willing to help, it is also a fact that you may not be able to solve the problem. Make these facts clear before helping others. If you don’t say anything, the other party will only assume that there is no price for your help and that you can solve it.

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Do you find this issue of Reality helpful? Leave a reply to this email, I check every reply in my inbox.

Until next week,

Ted Wild

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